Thursday, August 28, 2014

IPC Essay Competition.

A summer contest was designed to serve only one purpose: Let the kids write. It doesn't matter how strong ones vocabulary is, the goal was to just write and express your thoughts in words. Yes there were topics given to bring some structure and prizes to serve as the incentive.  I applaud the two kids who made the commitment and kept it too. To keep a promise made to self is key to success.  

The two submissions were for category 3, and interestingly they chose the same prompt: The world through my eyes.   Since this is a public blog, I have kept the names hidden ( not sure of how their parents feel about their names on the internet) but the rest is a copy and paste as they had sent it to me. 

They have very different writing styles, and yet a common theme emerges, the kids want a world where there is less chaos and more harmony.  They want us to leave them a planet that is still liveable so they can enjoy it with their children. I guess there is a message in these esssays for us adults too.  Like the native americans say: "We have borrowed this planet from our children." 

While I will be mailing them their reward; $50/- Amazon gift certificates each.  There is no bigger reward for these kids but to hear from the readers. Please do take a moment to pause and give  your opinion in the comments below. 

I hope next year there will be more participants. 

Read on and let us work towards their vision of a better planet. 

Submission 1

Grade: 6th
Essay prompt: The World through my eyes

     The sport boxing in my opinion is dangerous! The sport is very harmful to humans and can damage their body. Boxing, a sport where 2 people fight and try to knock each other out. Is allowed in some countries. I will talk about the reasons why boxing is a bad sport, and should not be allowed.

     Fans can make an argument that the sport will encourage fitness, and gives a chance for people to make money. But there is no doubt that boxing allows physical contact, while encouraging it to their viewers. Kids may see this sport on T.V and start boxing with their friends not knowing the dangers of this sport. Critics believe that boxing is unacceptably dangerous and should be banned. I also agree with these critics.

    Boxing allows crazy blows to someone's body while fans cheer every time their favorite hits the other. The game allows blows to the head which can cause a concussion or worse. The game encourages the players to knock the other player down. This game is very physical and should not be allowed.

    Professional boxing encourages violence and the concept of becoming rich and famous through physical aggression. I feel there are better ways to become rich & famous minus the violence. This is why in my opinion boxing should be banned.


Submission 2

                        Finished 6th, Entering 7th (12years)
Category 3
The world through my eyes  

               The World Through My Eyes

Hello, my name is Jerry Joe, and I am from the year 2135. You may not believe me at all, but I have created a virtual time machine that can send text, emails, or anything requiring the Internet to a future or past time. I have sent you this email because I need to warn you about the devastating tragedies that are happening in my time. We neadrathoids (the next evolution of humans) are having an intense war to decide which group (the tech, muscle, and brain team) gets to live in the small amount of land left that has been depleted from global warming. Many innocent civilians are suffering from chemical mutation, lack of nutritious food, mutated animal attacks, and the icy cold water that is creeping upon us with new and terrifying creatures living in it’s treacherous and petrifying waters. The reason I am sending this information to this email at this time is because I recalled from my childhood memories about how many people were interested in entering and paying attention to this event, so if I could win this then I could get people’s attention and show them what to do and what not to do to keep planet Earth a good, safe place.

This world has become such a piece of rubbish in 2135 because of these inventions that we have made that destroys the world but gives us great comfort. For example, cars give us transportation to places quickly, but has a byproduct of producing carbon monoxide. Trees usually breath chemicals like carbon monoxide, but trees are deducing in population because humans are using it for paper. There is a saying I made, “God creates nature, nature creates us, we destroy nature, nature tries to kill us,” Why do you think that all these natural disasters have been happening lately? This is because our smoke-pollution machines that keep us in luxury are slowly destroying the earth and all it’s resources. This will eventually lead to the end of us, which we can still stop. What I would like to happen is when you or anyone is going somewhere ride a bike or walk. So the world becomes less polluted. Also never waste anything like food, water, and electricity. The extra water that drips from the faucet or the spoon of food left on your plate some people would die to get.

 Another reason everyone is dying in my time is because, in 2080, people stop caring about each other, which started the war against the three groups. This war was nuclear, which caused all the atrocious gases from going in the atmosphere starting the mutations of animals, neadrathoids, and the killing of neadrathoids. So, to stop the war from starting I need you to go out of your way to keep helping people. Whenever you help someone, you have to tell them not to say thank you, but keep helping people, and whenever you help someone tell them the same thing.

The last and final way you can help me get my world back to normal is to keep working. In my world people are very uneducated and live of the technology that your are using know. This is because people think education isn’t important and doesn’t get you anywhere in life. This horrible concept started when I was just six, the same year that you are in now. America and several other countries were dropping in test scores, and more people were becoming homeless. I need all the kids, even adults, to keep learning. It doesn’t matter when or where, but always keep learning. This will help you have an abundance of general knowledge always keeping you at your peak.

All of the people that read this essay please follow the regulations I have stated, because it will greatly benefit the future. If you do help my world, the neadrathoids will flourish and thrive, eating healthy food, having as much land as they could dream of having, and best of all everyone would finally work like a well-oiled machine once again. For the kids that are reading this email, you may not want to do this for me, but at least do it for you. Most of you will be living this disaster when you grow up, so if you want to live a happy life, please follow my suggestions.

1 comment:

  1. Amazing write up by the two writers. Congrats and wishing them good luck!