Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Is She a Mirror or am I the Mirror?

Few years ago she took me on a roller coaster ride. Even before the ride started I knew it's going to be different, it was up and down for nine months and some very tiring moments. Moments that made me depressed, panic and left me feeling completely drained out. And then a friend living miles away said "Daughters always fuss take their own sweet time to get ready. This is nature's way of training you for the future. Be happy you're going to be blessed with a girl." And lo and behold, out did come a girl :)  Seeing her was very different from my son. She was nothing like him. He came out energetic and stretched his vocal chords right away. She cried but not much. When the pricked for the first time, they were shocked, for she didn't even whimp. The doctor's thought that was weird. We enjoyed the wonderful hospitality of the hospital for a couple of extra days and then came home to our world.  

I was prepared for colicky nights again, but to my surprise, the adage "sleep like a baby" came true. She was a good sleeper.  Time kept moving and the baby is now a big little girl. In additon to blue and green, we now have pink and purple too. The home is now a beautiful rainbow of colors. 

At this young age, she is a strong headed girl, who knows the difference between magenta and shocking pink and will not settle for a sky blue dress when she wants an aqua blue dress. Her love for colors and the glow on her face when she twirls her dress reminds me of another girl I knew some 35 odd years ago. She insists on having long hair and I am reminded of a girl who did the same. It is true, "what a daughter does, the mother did."  

It may sound strange, but my relationship with my daughter is nothing like my son.  My son is in a sense my anchor. He helps me stay grounded and focussed on what is important. My daughter to me is like a mirror. A mirror wherein I see my reflection. A reflection that I had forgotten existed.  Her love for colors has brought back colors in my wardrobe too. The shocking pinks and purples are back.  

I look at the mirror and I see a little girl who loves long hair and is trying very hard to grow it long. The mirror shows me a little girl who loves posing for the camera and is always asking her dad to take a picture.  The mirror does not lie, and shows me a dad who is stern and strong. He has a firm hand and yet the smallest tear drop makes him fall to his knees and he lifts her up in a warm fuzzy hug, for it is true daughter's bring out the softer side of dads. 

I close my eyes and wish time would stop. 

I will always be your parent.  You can come to me when the world seems harsh and we will tread Snow White together and learn to believe again. As you continue your journey into this world, be determined like Aurora and brave like Mulan. Always believe in yourself like Belle and never lose hope like Cinderella. Be Wise like Pochahontas and while I wish you all the comforts, never forget the importance of following your dreams and working hard like Princess Tiana. 

You are loved more than you will ever know.

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